Eve
by Fanfictionar3
Summary: Underworld Awakening as told from Selene's daughter Eve's point of view. What happened to Eve at Antigen? How does Eve feel about her mom, and will Selene find Michael? My take on what happened after the movie beginning in Chapter 3, but the other chapters also have things in them that only Eve would know.
1. Chapter 1: Antigen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Underworld Awakening or any of its characters. **

Chapter 1

They kept my room temperature controlled, and covered me with blankets when I slept my required 12 hours of sleep every night, but I had never seen warmth until my Mother found me, pressed against that cold grey wall. I didn't have to see her rip a lycan in half, to know that she was sharper than the knives they used to scrap back the skin on my thighs to take tissue samples.

They had tried to keep me on the perfect line between incredibly naive, and mentally retarded. Their observations of me could not have been has accurate if I did not understand how to speak, what the planet we lived on was called, and even a little about the walls outside of Antigen.

Caretaker #7 took me outside twice, first when I was eight, and again on my eleventh birthday. Caretakers 2 and 3 dressed me in the appropriate attire, sunglasses, and they made sure my hair was at the topmost sanitary level. A tracking device was slipped under my shirt sleeve, but even so Caretaker #7 still held my hand as we walked the street, as I saw the colors on the card's they had shown me: 'red' 'grey' 'blue', now in the real setting, instead of a small square on paper. They had injected me with calming drugs before I left, but even so, Caretaker #7 was pressing the needle into my hand as we walked. I would stare at the children, the ones that were called 'boys', holding onto the hands' of what were called 'Mothers'.

Caretaker #7 was my only female caretaker. After she had explained to me what mothers were, I had asked her where mine was. The smile that she always wore, like plastic gloves for protection when working with toxic chemicals, did not waver. "She died when you were born" She stated simply. "That is why you are here, so we can take care of you, you are very lucky"

My seven Caretakers always reminded me how lucky I was, to live in Antigen, where I was perfectly fed, perfectly watched. I knew how lucky I was, and felt terribly guilty.

Caretaker #7, was my favorite, although I tried not to have favorites, because I knew it was wrong. When she would complement my diagrams of elements, or my proper execution of math equations, I would wonder if my mother would have been proud to. I wished that Caretaker #7 could have done my strength assessment, because I thought that she would have been gentler than Caretaker #1. If I broke a small bone in my finger, I thought she would have given me anesthesia, instead of telling me to continue punching the rock so he could asses my maximum tolerance of pain.

What I never expected, was on my twelfth birthday, instead of receiving a circle of sweet bread and a long list of expectations I had to meet the coming year of my life –I would hear Caretaker #7 telling the Master that the wait was over, laughing as she said that 'her mother' right next door, would never even know 'she' existed.

Instead of feeling the grief I expected to at her betrayal, anger took over my body, it raised the hair on every pore as the hairs lengthened, and sharpened the teeth in my mouth as they grew longer. My anger had turned me into my wolf form. Caretaker #1 had ounce spent hours inserting knives into my skin, until I was in enough pain to turn. Turning now was a different feeling, more complete, wild. I saw through a tunnel in the back of my mind, and I saw through the eyes of someone incased in ice, like I had so many times before, but now I knew it was my mother.

I slammed through the locked door with my newfound strength, but the alarm that blared sounded distant to me. My claws reached for Caretaker #7's neck, and her blood caught in her blonde hair as she died. I ran down the hall. The sign on my door said Subject 2, so I stopped at the door that read Subject 1. In the center of the room, a woman was incased in ice. I stabbed it with my claws, and then fled.

After hours of evading capture, I curled up against this grey wall, and shrank back into my human form. I heard lycans all around, and I reached out to my mother, and felt her surprise as my conscious touched hers, as I saw through her eyes, on the streets of the city. I could only hold the connection long enough to hear her tell her blond companion, that she had to break into Antigen. Then I trembled against the wall, enthralled that she was coming to find me, and praying she would before they did.

When I saw my mother I couldn't prevent the fear that flamed up inside of me, like when they would drop chemicals into a beaker and they wouldn't mix safely. I also felt as if my twelve years were being pulled backward, and my body was swallowing itself, until I became as small as when I was only one day old. The first thing I saw move in her blue eyes was disappointment, before her pupils widened.

My mother knelt beside me. "Come on, we need to leave" She said. Her voice was different than any of my seven Caretakers. It touched me like cold water, but if Caretaker #7's voice was sweetbread, my mother's was all the colors in the world that I had never seen before. I couldn't move. After staring at me for a few more seconds, she glanced back at her blond companion. He grabbed me by the shoulders roughly, and dragged me out behind her. All I could do was stare at the ground moving beneath my feet. When we were outside, he threw me into the back of a van. I kept my eyes on my mother, as the blond started driving.

A lycan broke through the window above my head, as two more attacked my mom and the blond. I tried to watch my mom, making sure she was alive, as I turned to my werewolf form. The lycan ripped a whole in my shoulder, tearing half of the muscle off of my body. I screamed, ripping him in half with both my hands. I saw my mom staring at me, as I collapsed onto the wall, back in my human form.

My mom climbed over the seat. She pulled back my hair and examined my wound. "She's not healing" She called to the blond. The pain was excruciating, I felt like all my blood would drain out of my body. I had never been injured like this in my life, not even by Caretaker #1. Yet I was comforted by my mother's indifferent touch, and uncaring words.

"We have a doctor that can help her…at our coven" The blond said.

My mother slowly looked back at me.

"How did you find me?" My voice was a hoarse whisper.

"What's your name?" Her voice was soft, gentle. Her eyes were piercing.

"S-subject 2…and, you were subject 1" I said. "I f-freed you….do you not know who I am?"

She looked down, a shocked look coming over her face as she looked back at me.

"They told me that I had no mother; that she died when I was born. I never believed it I…I-I felt you, saw images through your eyes. But then someone outside my door" I felt tears rising in my throat. "They said since I was no longer a child the wait was over." I studied the ground, and then met her eyes again. "That I'd be dead soon…and that my own mother, right next door, would never even know I'd existed"

"What did they tell you of your father?" She asked, leaning towards me. "They must have told you something, do you see images through him?"

I shook my head as she spoke. "No, _only_ you"

She grabbed my wrist and I leaned away from her, but I could not get out of her grasp before she bit down. I saw my own memories before my eyes as she watched them, sucking my blood. She still held my wrist when she pulled her teeth out of it. I stared at her fearfully, gasping and holding back tears. My own mother had no interest in me. She would suck my own blood to find my father.

**Author's Note: **Please review! This is my first Fanfiction story, so I would love to know if you liked it, or if there is anything you think I need to improve. I will try to get the next chapter up soon.


	2. Chapter 2: Don't Heal My Wounds

Chapter 2

I watched the line of blood appear as I cut the small blade deep into the flesh on my arm. As it healed I quickly made another cut, hoping there was a way to drain all the blood out of my system. My mom and the blond man, whose name is David, made it to his coven. The blood the doctor gave me healed my neck wound, as I lay on the cold grey stone, which may as well have been a metal table. Here was no different than Antigen, I thought, cutting myself deeper this time. Doctors who were only interested in observing me and keeping me alive, because I was a valuable piece in their war, and mothers who….I saw the images in my mind again, Caretaker #7 as she laughed, and my mom as she took her teeth out of my wrist, no remorse showing in her eyes, only disappointment.

_Disappointment _I thought bitterly, wishing again that the wounds would stop healing, because the pain in my arm still wasn't even coming close to the pain in my chest, in my never beating heart. Just as I was contemplating shoving the knife into my neck and seeing if it would kill me, I heard the door shift open.

I looked down as my mom walked swiftly over to me and grabbed the knife from my hand. I felt a little satisfaction and surprise well up inside of me at her attention. _It's not like I would die cutting _I thought _Why don't you just watch and see my pain tolerance, wouldn't that be helpful for winning your stupid war? _

"I dreamt of the day we'd meet" I couldn't look at her as I spoke. "Like a silly little girl" I felt exposed as I said this, this woman must think I am so foolish and _stupid, _to have expected her to care about me. I hoped my next words would hurt her, or annoy her, just make her feel _something _for me. "You're as cold as one already dead"

"Yesterday, I was with your father…he was only a little further away from me than you are now…I went to sleep, and when I awoke the next day, I learned that overnight, twelve years had passed, and instead of the only man I've ever loved there stood a girl with his eyes" I thought I almost heard tears in her voice as she took a breath before she spoke the next words, but I knew I must have imagined it. "My heart is not cold, it's broken"

I was having trouble holding back tears, and looked down. She touched my cheek, and her hand's coldness felt warm. "I'm so sorry" As she gently stroked my cheek, tears fell into her hand, as if they wanted her to catch them, to catch me. A shiver ran through me. I was crying into the hand of someone who had just apologized for not being able to love me.

"What is it?" She asked, noticing a change in my expression.

"There here"

My mother stood. "Stay here, wait for me"

Waiting for my mom had already consumed a large enough portion of my life. "No take me with you" my voice was desperate, childish. "Please" I ran after her.

She turned. "I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise. Lock the door"

I hurriedly obeyed, warmed by the words and moved by their strength. But I couldn't just stay in there, waiting for my mom to come back dead, leaving me again, in Antigen, but this time vampire-Antigen. I let the anger inside of me uncurl, stretch to every part of my body, and after I had turned, I joined the fight.

Nervousness was like a cold rod inside my stomach as I walked through the hall. A lycan's bulging eyes were in my face, blocking my path. I went for his neck, but his claws grazed my leg. Remembering the pain in my shoulder, I plunged my hand into his chest like a sword, skewering his heart. Then I saw through my mom's eyes, and she was cornered against a wall, a lycan on top of her. Pure adrenaline sped my feet, and by some miracle I found her.

As I hauled the lycan off of my mom, and killed it, I thanked whatever force had created the universe that I had decided to fight. She would have been dead without me. My mom's mouth was slightly open as she looked at me. But it was an impressed expression. David killed his own lycan, his entire body was drenched in blood, but he only seemed to have a few injuries.

"Get her somewhere safe" My mom said to David.

I looked back at her as he led me by the shoulders.

_It's just because you're a valuable weapon _I had to tell myself as I started to imagine that my mom felt the impossible for me.

David's hands on my shoulders were firm.

"I should go back" I said. There was a funny hitch in my voice, and it was high pitched. "What if my mom dies?!"

David chuckled. "Your mom has been fighting vampires and lycans alike for centuries, I'm not sure if it's possible for her to die"

I was silent.

"Besides, don't you think it would hurt her a lot more if _you _died than if she did?"

"Why would she even care about the war if she was dead?"

"Eve..." David said slowly. Eve was the name my mother had given me after we reached the coven. Eve because I was the first of my kind -a born hybrid. "Your mother cares more about you than the war, she—"

David's words were interrupted by a lycan jumping into the hall and snarling at us. David was in front of me, holding me behind his arms. He lunged at the lycan before it attacked him. I changed form. The lycan shoved his hand into David's gut, and I watched frozen as he fell to the ground, dead.

Lycans swarmed the hall, and I saw the coven leader being held by one of them. They set him down beside me, and the one that had been carrying him changed into his human form.

"Your son is dead" He spoke to the coven leader. "Surrender the girl, and we will let you live"

I saw vampires amongst the lycans, unmoving, staring at their leader. They were prepared to fight at his command.

He looked over his son's body in an expression of angst. "Take her" He spat over his body. "Just take her" I felt the strong claws of a lycan grab me. As I was carried away amongst the many bodies of lycans, I heard him call after us. "She is not worth the price in this war"

It was then that I found my voice. "Mom, mom, MOM!" I struggled furiously, tears making my face feel sour. The lycan covered my hand with his hairy one. I bit down on it. I tore at him, at whatever hairy flesh I could find in the brown mob. I felt the soft prick of a needle, the insertion which grew into fire, like a flower spreading its petals, and then my conscious faded into blackness.

**Author's Note: Can someone summarize for me the chain of events leading up to Eve getting saved by Selene? I haven't watched the movie in an entire year, and it's not on Netflix. Does anyone know what happens in the part where Eve is put in the room with the chemicals? How does she escape it? I do remember the end scene, and plus it's on Youtube, lol, but I don't remember how Eve gets into the car that Selene flips over. Please Review! **


	3. Chapter 3: What World Do I Live In?

Chapter 3

**Authors Note: This chapter takes place after the battle at Antigen, where Selene rescues Eve. All you need to know, is Selene found Eve, and there was a battle in the garage at Antigen. Sebastian is a worker at Antigen who helped Selene because Sebastian's wife and daughter were vampires who were killed by Antigen in the purge. **

My mom made eye contact with me across the parking garage where the battle had taken place. It passed between are eyes as we thought the same thing: _you're safe. _

I watched as my mom walked past the car she had flipped over with one hand to save me. The strongest emotion I felt was confusion.

My mom put her arms around me, and I returned the embrace. No one in Antigen had ever held me. "You came back for me" I cried into her shoulder.

"I said I would"

"Selene" Sebastian called, standing and holding his broken arm. "You should go"

"There's a safe house not far from here" David said, appearing beside him.

"Go" Sebastian said. "I'll send them on a different path, buy you some time"

"Thank you" my mother said to him. "Come on" she said to me. "David!" She added sharply.

"Were going back in?" David asked as we followed my mom at a quick pace.

"We are"

We stopped walking at an empty ice chamber, a one that looked like the one my mom had been held in. I gasped as I was taken through the back of my brain, into another's eyes.

"What is it?" My mother asked. "Michael?"

I nodded. "The roof" After I had seen through my father's eyes, I felt my first feelings of interest in him. This was the man who had my eyes, the man who had my mother, and the only other existing hybrid on earth.

I ran after my mom as she strode up the stairs, then crossed the roof in minutes. She looked over the edge, to the city stretching below us. I reached for her hand, like I would hold Caretaker #7's when I was outside and vulnerable.

I saw David standing behind my mom, surveying us standoffishly.

It hit me. "Your alive?!"

David grinned at me. "It's a lot harder to kill a vampire than you would think"

I wrapped my arms around David, in the same gesture my mom had down in the garage, and was relieved to feel his thick muscles around me. I loved his sour smell, like dirt and blood. I found myself eager for this new thing called human touch, never given in Antigen. I felt as if there was a large whole in my body, and every time I was touched it was like sunlight flooding a tunnel, but when I was alone the whole felt infinite, and a part of me knew it could never really be filled.

"I did have a little help from your mom though" He said as he released me. "She could have as easily been a coven's doctor as a warrior"

My mom wore a trace of a smile. "Yes well, when you've been fighting for centuries there comes times when healing is necessary" It was strange to see how soft my mom's demeanor was as she looked at David.

I was almost more relieved to see David than I was to see my mom. Part of this came from watching him die in front of me, but also I felt safer with him, and he had developed in my heart to what I thought a father figure would be.

My mom looked down at me. "Mostly it was Michael who did the healing though" She stroked my hair. "He was the more gentle of the two of us, I would have to say….like you" There was love evident in her voice, but whether it was for Michael or for me or for both was unknown.

Then her posture straightened and she addressed David. "We need to find a safe place for you and Eve to rest while I find Michael"

"NO!" I protested. "You have to let me come! I'm helpful, I mean, how will you find him without me?"

"Selene" David said. "I won't argue with you if you insist, but I think it's safer if we all stick together"

Selene nodded curtly. Then looked back at me.

"We should be leaving" David said, noticing how preoccupied my mom was. "Sebastian can only hold them off for so long"

We returned to the garage, where David busted the window out of a small light blue car. He mumbled that it was probably the only one without an alarm. My mom sat with me in the back, while David drove. I was exhausted and grateful that she put her arm around me, so that I was leaning against her. I was still unsure of when and how I could get the human touch I craved. Her arm reminded me of the metal rings they used to hold me down during operations at Antigen, restraining, but more for your protection than anything else. I could feel that her body was stiff, and she kept scanning the windows.

"First chance we get, we should ditch this car" She said.

"That's exactly why it's the best car" said David. "They would never guess you would drive it"

"You see anything?" My mom said to me. I realized that ever since she rescued me, her tone towards me had been gentler. Perhaps the fear of losing me had changed her.

"No" I realized that my voice was a lot softer and higher than my mom's or David's.

David drove by the street in front of Antigen, at my mom's request.

"Selene, he wouldn't have stayed here, and we can't either" David said at the stop light.

"No…but I know where we should go, the hotel, where me and Michael were staying"

"Won't that place be watched?"

"No one knew we stayed there"

"What about the coven?" David said tentatively.

Selene frowned, and she adjusted a curl that was out of place in my brown hair. Really they all were, my hair was smeared all over my face. "After we search for Michael, we will spend the night there…but only and _only _if they accept Eve, and I will never let her out of my sight this time" My mother gathered all of my brown hair into her hands and let it fall down my back. "But only one night. Then it will be time for me and Eve and…Micheal to live on our own"

Selene kept telling David which way to go on the road. Eventually, David parked the car in a small parking lot, next to a brown, worn looking building. I felt excitement rising in my mom, as she relaxed her hold on me and slowly got out of the car. I had never seen a building as beautiful as this. Antigen had been shiny, white bright fluorescent lights, and harsh smells. This hotel smelled of wood and smoke, and a thousand other things I couldn't name, all I knew was that they were darker smelling, like grey, or brown, or dark green. It was like if you took the extreme of Antigen, and what I call vampire-Antigen, and you drew a line down the center, this would be it.

I hated seeing my mom search the hallways of the hotel again, this time in a faster, agitated way.

"We can't wait for him" Selene said finally. She took her knife and etched an _S_ into the door of one of the room's. I wonder what good it would do, even if Michael had known we had been here.

David seemed to have a better understanding of the situation than I did. "Michael's a smart man," He said. "He'll find you"

I fell asleep in the car ride to the coven. This time my mom's arms were looser, weaker. They reminded me of the blankets and pillows in Antigen, the only soft things in the place. Except Caretaker #7, but I deeply regretted the thought. I dreamed that Caretaker #7 was telling me that her heart was not cold, that it was broken. Then she laughed, the horrible sound that had told me that me and my mother were going to die. I ripped her head off, and her blood poured all over me. Then I saw a blond boy, holding her dead hand. He looked up at her bloody neck. "Mama?" he asked innocently.

I woke up panting and sweating. It hit me like a long piece of wood to the head in one of my training sessions with Caretaker #1. My mom saw my tears. She wiped them away. "It's okay, it's okay…"

Sensing my mom's discomfort with tears, I gained control of myself. Then I saw Caretaker # 7's dead head in my hands again, and I buried my face into her side and sobbed uncontrollably, feeling my tears wet the slippery leather. "It's okay…its okay, I'm here" She rubbed my back.

I remembered how I would share my emotions during sessions with Caretaker #6. How he would look at me blankly, write everything down, and then tell me what I was supposed to feel. I wanted to do something like this with my mom, after all, she was like all seven Caretaker's to me.

"It's Caretaker #7!" I said. "I k-killed her!"

My mom didn't say anything.

I felt David's larger hand on my arm, as I cried harder.

"Eve" David said. "Why don't you explain to us what Antigen was like?"

"I was well cared for there" I said quickly, not wanting my mom or David to think I was ungrateful. " I had seven Caretakers, who attended to my every need" I felt myself calming as I spoke of my former home, in a way that I hoped would have made them proud. I still felt the Caretaker's eyes on me. Perfectly watched.

"Caretaker #1 assessed my pain and strength tolerance, it was very important that I met his standards, that I could fight, I did usually, I really tried, I did!" My mom had stopped rubbing my back. "Caretaker #2 bathed me, made sure I was at good sanitary levels. Caretaker #3 was in charge of my diet, I didn't drink blood there…Caretaker #4 attended to injuries, mostly those caused in strength and pain assessments, because they were good Caretaker's so I was rarely injured outside of protocol, and when I was it was my fault, mostly. Caretaker #5 took care of tissue samples that they needed from me, Caretaker #6 was who assessed my emotional level, whether or not I was feeling the right emotions you know? Sometimes I didn't score the highest marks with him…but I tried! …and Caretaker number seven was…was my teacher."

Both David and Selene were silent, and very still. I wondered what I had said wrong, I had tried to sound grateful. It must have been because I had killed my own Caretaker, the one who had taught me since I was a baby, how to walk, talk, what colors were, and many other things, including my favorite thing to do which was reading. I did not want my mom to think I would turn on her if I got upset at her care.

"The only reason I killed her" My voice felt like tears were pushing it up. "Was because she was going to kill you!" I tried to defend myself.

My mom's upper lip was curled in disgust and she had released her hold on me. I looked desperately at David. David gave my mom a long and hard look. He continued to look at her as he spoke. "You were raised by them, of course you cared about them. It's not your fault they betrayed you Eve"

David pulled me into his arms. "You were only trying to save your mom"

I could not feel comforted, because my mom still thought I was a monster. I felt the touch of two fingers on my shoulder, then the entire hand. "Eve, I'm not mad at you, it's only your Caretakers are the—I mean I'm only upset with your Caretakers" It was my mom's voice, and hand.

David transferred me into my mother's arms. She did not hold me very long before saying. "Come on Eve, we will talk more ounce we are safe inside the coven"

"Selene" The coven leader greeted my mom curtly. We stopped, leaving about sixth feet between us and him. My mom had her arms around me protectively, and David stood slightly in front of me on the other side of me.

"We only need a place to stay for tonight" Selene said. "Then we will be on are way and give your coven no farther trouble"

"And I will to" David said.

The coven leader looked at his son with anger in his eyes. I thought he was going to tell David that he couldn't leave, but instead he just sighed. "Very well…"

David led us into a room and closed and locked the door. There was only one bed, but my mom refused to have us sleep in separate rooms, so the three of us shared it, like a family would, she explained.

"Tell me more about your past" She whispered into my ear, when the sheets were over the three of us, me between her and David.

"Tell me about yours" I said.

She sighed. "The human part? Or the killing vampires for centuries part?"

"I just need to understand your world" I said. "My world, I need to understand the world that I now live in"

So my mom told me. We really didn't sleep much. We talked for hours. David closed his eyes after adding a few comments to our conversation though. I didn't want to sleep. The last thing I wanted to do was dream of Caretaker #7. I think my mom wanted to make me feel better, by telling me about all the people that she had killed, but still, it was different somehow. The lycans that I had killed, blended into a sort of blob of guilt that I could ignore in my mind. Caretaker #7 though, was like when Caretaker #5 had accidently dropped a knife during a procedure, and hadn't noticed. When I stood up to go back to my room, I had stepped on it and it had gone inches into my foot. That's what Caretaker #7's death was to me: a knife that I would step on when I least expected it.

**Authors Note: Please Review! :) **


	4. Chapter 4: Blue Eyes Forgive Me

Chapter 4

"Where should we go now Selene?" I heard David say as I was waking up.

"David, now that you're traveling with us, there is only one person we need to go to before finding Michael" My mom said. "We need to find Sebastian, and see if he wants to join our coven. You and him are the only two people I trust to take care of my daughter should anything happen to me while I am searching for Michael"

"Mom" I said drowsily. "Will Sebastian even be alive?"

She pursed her lips. "I hope so Eve"

Selene found a car, a large black one with three sets of seats, and blacked out windows. David grumbled, but eventually agreed it was safer than the light blue car, since we were traveling in daylight, a time when vampires wouldn't be expected to be out. This time David sat in the back with me, my mom was in too much of a hurry to deal with giving him directions.

Sebastian's house was destroyed. The door was gone and papers and belongings were scattered all over the floor. My mom touched the wood on the doorway. Two names had been etched into it: Kristine and Betsy.

"I know where Sebastian is" My mom said.

"How?" I asked when we were back in the car.

"The etching on the doorway was fresh, it was a sign from him" She explained. "There is no other wood that smells quite like pine, he must be hiding out in the forest"

We trudged through the forest for hours, after my mom picked up his scent. We followed it to a cottage in the forest. My mom pulled out a gun, and kicked down the door.

"Whoa Selene!" Sebastian said. He was sitting at the table and looked up in surprise. "You could have just knocked"

"I prefer not to announce myself to my enemies; it could have easily been a lycan trap…were here to make you an offer"

Sebastian looked over the three of us. "Come on in," He said. "Not that you need an invitation"

My mom put her gun away, and then pressed her hands flat against the table. "David, Eve, and I are forming a coven, the coven's sole purpose is to protect Eve from the coming war, I'm offering to let you join, the governments after you Sebastian, your no safer as a human than a vampire"

"My wife and daughter were killed in the purge" Sebastian said. "I would be honored, to help you protect Eve, and avenge their deaths along the way"

"The transformation isn't painless...and there are other risks as well" Selene said. "If you wish you may join us and remain human"

"Nah, I think I want to be able to fight the vampires, lycans, and humans that are going to try to kill me in the next few months"

"Very well, would you prefer David…or should I…?"

"Doesn't matter" He said smiling.

"I guess you would prefer to not melt in the sun" Selene said. She curled her lip up to expose her fangs, and then drove them down into his shoulder. Sebastian's face scrunched up in pain, and his knuckles turned white as he dug his fingers into the table. She sucked his shoulder for a few minutes, before withdrawing her fangs, gasping.

"It should take a few hours for the venom to spread" She said, looking over Sebastian. "David, will you do a raid for blood? Our supplies are running low, which is never good when we are expecting an attack"

David nodded.

I sat in a chair beside Sebastian, wanting to reach out to him in some way, to stop his pain. My mom paced the doorway, every now and then pulling her gun out of its holster and flipping it around in her hands before replacing it. Sebastian started gasping and beads of sweat sprouted from his forehead. He clasped his hands together so tightly that I thought he would break his fingers. It was painful to watch, I wanted to leave, but I couldn't get myself to move.

When David finally showed up he was panting. "I'm sorry Selene" He said. "I got caught early on, this was all I could manage" He held up one blood bag.

"Were you followed?"

"I think I got them off my trail…I wouldn't have come back if I hadn't"

"Alright, Sebastian will need the blood" My mom said. "Eve, you'll have to wait…I'm sorry"

I hadn't even noticed my thirst until she said this, making me wish she hadn't apologized, as if it was some big deal. "I never drank blood at Antigen" I tried to make my voice sound reassuring, but she just held my gaze in a way that said it wasn't.

The cabin had two stories, and the room me and my mom slept in had two beds, so we didn't share beds that night. For a while, I could feel my mom awake in the other bed, but then I heard her breathing, longer and deeper, and I knew I was alone. At first I felt anxious, after being around human touch for so long, it was hard to be alone again. There were benefits, I mean it was calming because it was familiar, because it was like Antigen, and in being alone I didn't have to worry about doing the wrong thing, about disappointing people. Then my throat felt like it was on fire. My fingers scratched at the sheets in protest, quickly sprouting claws. I growled and bit the blanket. _Ding _It was the sound of metal, and my ears knew it was at least a mile away, then laughter, and then I could smell the fire, and the blood pulsing in their veins. The sound and smell of their blood pulled me out of my bed, it caused my feet to move with gentle caution _swiftly swiftly _the blood seemed to chant. I loved the feel of the soil on my bare feet, of flying through the woods, all the shades of black blurring together. I saw the fire, a boy and an old man, together, around it. The blood called to me and I drank the larger one first. The boy screamed. It startled me enough to pull my teeth out of the man. The boy's blood smelled sweeter, I grabbed his wrist as he ran. I bit into the soft flesh of his upper arm. I shivered as the blood charged into my system, almost giving me to much energy, like if you were in a pitch dark room, and then went outside of it into fluorescent lighting, it would be too much on your eyes.

Two hands as hard as metal pulled me off of him. I gasped in thirst. "Eve!" It was Selene's voice. "Check the other body!" she called.

"He's still breathing," came David's voice. "But he won't be for long"

As the electric charge in my brain cooled, I saw the boy in front of my, convulsing on the ground. My mouth fell open. "I-I didn't mean…"

"I know" Selene sighed.

"Will he be okay?" My voice was that high tone again, like two pieces of metal squeaking together.

"He might be" Selene said. "Might turn…might die"

David looked up from the old man's body. "He's dead"

"Well Eve" My mom said curtly. "If you're still hungry…" She gestured to his body.

I felt sick, and quickly shook my head.

David began to kneel beside the body, and then he stopped, looking up at Selene questioningly.

"Go ahead David" My mom said. "May as well not waste the blood, I can hold out much longer than this…I would tell you to save some for the boy, but I doubt he would want to drink his grandfather if Eve didn't want to"

David wasted no time in sinking his teeth into the corpse, moving his head in ravenous motions as he drank. I looked away in disgust, knowing that I had looked like that, that that was who I was. I felt like someone had shoved a large piece of ice into my stomach, and it was burning as it melted. I was too shocked to cry.

Selene lifted the boy into her arms easily. She waited for David to release the corpse. It sunk into the ground with finality. "Bury him" She said to David. She grabbed my shoulder, leading me back to the cabin.

"I'm…sorry"

"It's okay" But her voice was curt, not comforting. Her next words seemed to be for the purpose of calming herself and me. "I expect after your first taste of blood it makes you more like a newborn,_ I_ didn't stop eating humans until Michael well, -he was against it"

That didn't make me feel better, just upset that I couldn't live up to Michael –I was supposed to be more like him after all. I also thought of Antigen, how my seven Caretakers had been _human _just like this poor boy and his what was it called? Grandfather? It sent my brain spinning to think of the father of my father. To comprehend being connected to a cycle that stretched years into the past. At Antigen there had only been me, the Eve of my kind, but now I knew I came from somewhere, and it was like trying to sew an arm back onto your body after you've been living without it your entire life. I understood that the arm was now there, but I didn't feel fully connected to it, it didn't feel like it was mine.

My mom lowered the boy onto the bed where Sebastian was still twitching painfully. Sebastian's transformation was almost over. The boy's eyes were scrunched closed, and I was thankful that I didn't have to look at him. I realized by his size that he must have been my age or older. He had brown hair, and I noticed how delicate it looked, like flower petals. His arms were thin, not well muscled, and his body was long and lean. I had never seen boys like this up close; all of my Caretakers at Antigen had been broad shouldered, fuller. He groaned and my hand automatically went to his arm, stroking it, as if it could really take the pain away.

"its okay, Its okay, Its okay, Its okay" My words fell as a fast, repeated mantra, as if I could really change how he felt with them. I felt my face scrunching up, my insides seizing, as I felt his pain. He groaned and kicked and screamed. Sebastian suddenly became still beside him, and when his blue eyes opened he stood.

"What's this Selene?"

"Eve's new friend"

I felt tears coming down my face as his tortured display reached the worst of his screams. The night was an eternity, of him and me suffering. My panting slowed as he was reduced to pained twitching. I didn't even notice my mom's hands had been on my shoulders until he stopped and lay still. I saw him gulp as his eyes flew open.

**Authors note: Sebastian is one of my favorite characters, and I really didn't understand why this didn't happen in the movie, so that's why I wrote him into this chapter. Hope you liked it. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5: Put My Heart Back

Chapter 5

"Eve bite him?" Sebastian said in surprise. "Does that mean he's a lycan-vampire hybrid as well?"

"A what…?" The boy said weakly.

"We shall see" Selene said. "David will you get Sebastian's blood bag?" Selene extended her wrist to the now bright blue-eyed boy. "Drink"

"Wait Selene—" Sebastian started to say, but she just held her hand up to him.

The boy hesitated, he met Sebastian's eyes, and I flinched as he met mine. Then instincts seemed to take over, and he grabbed Selene's wrist and bit down. His eyes did not seem to change as he drank.

"It looks…" Selene said gasping as her low blood supply was drained from her system. "As if he's not a lycan"

Sebastian nearly drained the entire bag, but then he handed what was left of it to Selene. I thought my mother was going to refuse, but she seemed too thirsty to, and finished it, as the boy still sucked her wrist.

Slowly, he removed his teeth. "Who are you?" Fear was evident in his voice.

"Your new coven" Selene said.

"Your vampires!" He said sitting up. "Wh-wheres Mr. Abelson ….?" He glanced at me before looking back at Selene. "He's a vampire to right?" He said grinning.

"Your grandfather's dead" Selene seemed to see now point in breaking the news gently.

He studied the sheets as if they would say something to contradict her. "He can't be…"

"I'm sorry!" I said, not being able to bear it anymore.

"You killed him?!"

"I didn't mean to kill your grandfather…" I knew it sounded lame. "I was soo thirsty…"

"He wasn't my grandfather" He said slowly. "He was my great uncle"

_Uncle, uncle _I searched my brain for the word, knowing from the 'great' part that it was probably a family relation.

"If you think I'm staying with you freaks your crazy!" He said angrily.

Selene glanced at my distressed face and said with equal passion. "And what do you intend to do?"

"Go back to my family!"

"Your family?" She asked, her voice a knife. "The only thing you will be able to do is drink there blood"

He started to open his mouth to say something.

"Live on your own?" She guessed. "You would be dead in a day. We are in the middle of a war."

"I'm not staying with her!" He pointed at me.

"You are a newborn," Selene said. "We are low on blood, by the end of the week, you will have killed more than someone's grandfather"

I felt a little surprised at those words.

"Great- uncle…" He mumbled, but he seemed more resigned to his fate.

"What's your name" I said, a little pleadingly, as I refrained from touching him.

"Doesn't matter…" He grumbled, not looking at me.

"I'm Eve" The words rang uselessly in the air.

"Eve why don't you help Sebastian pack his things" Selene said gently.

"Okay" I couldn't help looking over my shoulder at the boy as I left.

Sebastian started to pull shirts out of his drawer, at his instruction I folded them into his suitcase. Suddenly his hands started shaking and he dropped the clothes. He bent over, clutching his stomach with one hand and leaning on the bed for support with the other.

"You thirsty?"

Sebastian shook his head, gritting his teeth. Finally he straightened up. "Uhh" He groaned. "Yeah, that kids never gonna be able to hold back from drinking, we better find blood soon, or were going to have a coven so huge the missing persons are bound to get in the news"

We had to stay in the cabin one more day and travel by night. During the day, I buried myself in a book Sebastian gave me. It was about a boy going into a world under the sea. A part of me yearned to follow him, although the other part felt firmly rooted to my own world, my mom, Sebastian, David and….

My mom drove and I sat in the front seat beside her, relieved to be away from the boy, who had finally admitted to Selene and David that his name was Calev Abelson. We drove to another county. My mom and David did a blood raid, Sebastian staying at the wheel with the car parked a few blocks down from the hospital. I stared out the window. Finally they returned, carrying six blood bags each. My mom threw me one, as she got into the passenger seat, and David handed one to Calev as he sat down in the back beside him.

"We'll save one, we'll have to share it tomorrow before we can do another raid" My mom said.

I closed my eyes and drained the bag, feeling the blood fill every nerve in my body.

My mom decided sleeping in the woods would be a good way to avoid humans, even if it meant having less physical protection against lycans. It wasn't like we had money for a motel.

I stayed up as guard with her, even though she said I could sleep. She didn't argue, only nodded curtly. The other vampires had to stay in the tent Sebastian had brought, as the sunlight crept through the trees. Sebastian would switch posts with my mom, halfway through the day.

"Mom?"

"Yes Eve"

"What's a great uncle?"

"A great uncle is your father or mother's father or mother's brother"

It sounded confusing.

"It's your grandfather or grandmother's brother" She said. "It would be like my uncle, or your father's uncle"

"Do I have one?"

"I don't know about Michael…" She stopped as if realizing this for the first time. "I don't remember my uncle very well, I only remember my father…"

At night, we started traveling to a different section of the forest. I gasped as it seized my brain. I was taken into the eyes of someone running. He looked over his shoulder and I saw a group of lycans, chasing him.

"Mom!" I called when her figure came into focus.

She was at the front of the group, leading us. She turned.

"I think its Michael, I saw lycans" I said.

"Where!"

"I think...it looked like this forest."

The loud crashing sound was accompanied by snarling as a lycan charged out of the trees in front of us, pursued by a group of other lycans. The sight of the lycan being chased, rolled through me. I knew he was my father. My mom charged after them, Sebastian and David at her heels. I glanced back at Calev as I followed. He was unmoving. His shoulders were high and hands clenched in fists. _He can't fight _I thought with something close to satisfaction and amusement, but then this turned to worry as I realized what that meant.

My claws spread and I shoved them into the shoulders of a nearby lycan, swinging onto his back in one motion. He threw me off of him. I hit the forest floor hard, looking up to see him continuing in the pursuit of Michael. I kept staring at the spot where he had disappeared, feeling the loneliness fall around me like a blanket. I heard a squeal and looked to my left. I stood and ran. I found Calev pressed to a tree, held in the claws of a lycan. Why the lycan had chosen to attack him was beyond me. Perhaps he was lazy, or knew when he saw Selene that it would be better to find an excuse not to join the fight. I jumped and, grabbed the lycans shoulder and stuck one claw through the back of his throat, he dropped Calev and fell back on me, his weight slamming my breath away. I kicked the lycan off of me, looking at the gasping Calev in disgust before running into the woods, toward the sound of crashing branches nearby.

Sebastian was being pursued by two lycans. When he saw me he turned to face them. I jumped on the larger lycan, knowing Sebastian had less experience in fighting. I shouldn't have taken it head on, my adrenaline had blocked my thinking. It skewered me below my right lung, his claw digging deep into my liver as I went limp. I heard gunfire as the lycan dropped to the ground. My mom knelt beside me, slowly pulling the lycan claw out of my liver. Sebastian rushed over to us, my mom had killed his lycan as well.

My mom was speaking to me softly as she looked over my wound, but my vision was swimming before my eyes. Sebastian's wrist was pressed to my lips, and then I was caught in the electric line of feeding, and felt my wound closing. Sebastian wrenched his arm from my teeth, before I could drink him dry.

"Selene" David was striding toward us, carrying something. "The other lycans are dead" David set his bundle down on the forest floor. "I'm sorry…"

My mom was at the black clump of clothing, screaming. "Michaeeeeeeeeel! Michaeeeel!" David had to press his hand over her mouth to muffle her voice.

I crouched next to my mother. I put my hand on her shoulder, as I stared at the human body of my dead father, blood still seeping from his sides, where they had been torn completely open. There was a hole in his chest, where his heart should have been. A lycan had eaten it. I felt my own hand grabbing my heart, making sure it was still there.

**Author's Note: Review!:)!**


	6. When a Lycan's mom is a Death Dealer

**Disclaimer: I do not own Underworld or any of its characters. Calev is entirely mine though:) As well as other characters I make up. **

Chapter 6

The next few days, my mom was always at my side, cold, unreachable, and easily angered. She seemed to be looking for reasons to criticize me. "Eve don't drink so much of the blood, it's not limitless" She would say. "Eve can't you walk faster, you're a vampire for hell's sake" The one that really hit me was: "Grow up, Eve your twelve but you act like your two" It bothered me the most because I knew, from how Calev (who said he was thirteen) behaved, that I did not act normal for my age. I still lived in my own mental Antigen.

Calev seemed less angry around me, and I thought he must feel guilty that I saved him. He kept eyeing my mom, especially when she would snap at me. David and Sebastian were both acting around my mom, the way that I felt when I had to learn weight balancing exercises. Caretaker #1 would make me walk across upturned nails on bare feet. If it was done at the right speed, they wouldn't dig into your feet to much, it was all about grace, and even movements. Get clumsy, and one goes all the way through your foot when you fall. And of course ounce one foot goes down, so does the other, and if you're really unlucky, your hand too, ounce a nail narrowly missed going through my eye. The scar on my cheek took some facial remodeling for Caretaker #4 to completely heal, when he was done though, my face still looked the same, clean as if nothing had happened. Yet when I put my finger to the spot where the nail was, I can still feel the hard metal in my bone.

I didn't know how I felt about my father. I had seen through his eyes twice, I had seen him. I didn't feel particularly connected to him. Sometimes though, when I felt lonely in my personality, when I saw too clearly the differences between me and Selene, my soul would mourn the loss of that part of me that I would never get to meet.

My mom started taking me with her on blood raids. They were interesting, but I could barely stand the walks back to camp, or to the stolen car we were using at the time. My mom would lecture me endlessly on how I could have hid faster, or how I should have killed the doctor right away. Of course when I did kill a doctor next time, she told me that I shouldn't kill for no reason, and plus it draws unwanted attention to us.

Calev spoke to me in an undertone, in the backseat of the car. My mom was preoccupied with chewing David out about the appearance of the car, so she finally wasn't jabbing at me.

"Eve…" It was the first time he had said my name, and his voice was low. "I don't know if I can ever forgive you for what you did to my uncle….he was a father to me, mine died in a human war, I was only four years old...but" He took a deep breath, his next words were rushed. "I just wanted you to know I get how you feel…about your mom, cause that's probably how I felt to, when my dad left"

"Thank you" I looked into his eyes, trying to figure out what was in them.

He looked away first, turning his eyes to the ground. He wiped at one of his eyes, sniffled and gave a long sigh, like he was slowing his breathing, calming himself.

What was worse than my mom's constant nagging was when she started to drift away. She only wanted to go on blood raids alone. If I tried to stay up to guard with her, she would go into the tent, saying that one of us may as well get some sleep. Sebastian came out of the tent and put his hand on my shoulder. Since he didn't burn in the sunlight, he stayed up guarding with me, so I wouldn't burn in my heart. He was mostly silent, but it was a silence full of empathy. He started guarding with me every day.

I didn't notice that Calev hadn't been walking with us that night, until he came running back to us, holding a body.

"Help me!" He cried. "Save her!"

The girl had long, straight blond hair. Her neck was tilted to the side, where a bite mark was visible. Her eyes were closed and she was mumbling, as if she were asleep and in a bad or perhaps intriguing dream.

"No, no, no Sara!"

"I'm assuming you know her" Selene said coldly.

"Noo, no!" He was sobbing over the girl, paying no attention to Selene's words. I couldn't prevent myself from feeling a spark of hope. I watched her breath fade away. It must have taken him incredible self-control to have brought her back to us after he fed.

Selene turned on me, and a smirk jumped on my face, happy at the attention. "He was behind you Eve, don't tell me you are blind as well as dumb, how could you not have seen him leave?"

I helped Calev bury the girl. As I did, I felt very cautious and self-conscious. I did not want Calev to think that I was happy that she was dead, happy that he had committed a deed almost worse than me killing his grandfather…no uncle. So I kept my face solemn.

The last straw was that my mom decided stealing blood from the hospitals was pointless. We would feed on humans. Calev, Sebastian and I, were so opposed to this that generally we would do our own blood raids, but to keep up with David and Selene, we eventually just gave in to the methods of vampires.

We used to call ourselves a coven, but we had become a group of disbanded vampires. "No better than common street thugs" Calev would say. I personally thought we were worse, from how he described street thugs.

The periods of time when my mom would go off alone, stretched longer after we started feeding on humans. There would be entire days where she would be gone. The first time this happened, Calev and David had to physically drag me away from our camp site after they had packed up.

"She'll find us" Sebastian said.

"It might be better if she didn't" I knew David didn't mean for me to hear his comment.

Somehow though, my mom always did seem to find us, eventually.

"She's a death dealer" David kept saying. "Of course she can find us"

I didn't really care about the descriptions David would give of death dealers. To me my mom was a death dealer, just not only dealing out death to lycans. The first entire week that she was gone for, all I could feel was anger in my unmoving veins. It was her fault that Michael was dead, and if Michael wasn't dead, then she would be here. Really though, it was my fault that Michael was dead.

When my mom _was _around, she wouldn't talk to me. I didn't try to talk to her.

It was Calev's idea to tell David and Sebastian that we were going hunting, and to really just follow Selene instead. At first I was opposed to the idea, it would be so embarrassing if we were caught. Calev wheedled me into it though, and it was then that I realized that he was incredibly bored and lonely.

Calev helped me climb into a tree, something he was good at for ounce, after we had been tracking my mom for a while. She didn't really do much. She fell onto the forest floor on her knees, and stared at the dirt. I tried to find some way to be grateful for the time I could see her, but there really was no point in it. I only watched for a little while before I climbed out of the tree, telling Calev I needed to feed. He grumbled about how long tracking my mom had taken.

One good thing came out of feeding on humans. Sebastian had attacked him, when he was on the way to his shiny black Tesla in the middle of the night. Sebastian swore by Tesla's. I knew he only decided to feed on him so he could steel his car.

"Don't kill me…" He wheezed, as Sebastian continued to suck his blood. "I know who you are…my daughter was killed in the purge, I have money, please..."

"Wait!" I said. I pulled Sebastian off of the man, knowing it would be hard for him to stop drinking even if he wanted to. I held my gun to his head. "What can you give us?" I can't even remember when my mom had given me one of her guns. All I knew is it was another way for her to severe any remaining attachment she had to me.

He smiled. "New coven?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Look a little…_homeless _if you ask me"

"Oh yeah? And why is that?" I said.

He laughed for a long time. When he finally regained control of himself he said. "I have a pretty nice house, should be safe for the coven"

My instincts told me to kill him.

"What's in it for you?" Sebastian asked.

"My life"

After the man led us into his house, and gave us all keys, I shot him. Sebastian did not look too pleased, but I knew it was what my mom would have done.

"We can't trust him" I said.

"It might have been less noticeable that something was wrong had he stuck around" David said with an edge to his voice.

Calev had a funny expression of surprise on his face, but he sided with me.

His house was, more than just pretty nice. It had two stories, but each story had seven bedrooms in it, and the downstairs had a large dining room, and library.

"Can we stay here?" I asked.

"It's safer than the streets" Sebastian said.

It was no surprise that my mom looked around the house very skeptically when she found us. She did not seem to have the energy, or want to use it if she did, to come up with something snide to say. She never slept in the house. She left bodies on our doorstep. Sebastian told her to stop, before the neighbors noticed. With all the money in the house, we could order our own blood bags, no need for killing. Luckily he was a rich loner, so we only had to kill one of his friends. Since we no longer needed her kills, my mom didn't come back.

**Author's Note: Sorry, I realize this chapter is a bit depressing. I'm not really one for happy endings, though, because I find them a bit useless when relating to real life. It will get a little better though. Review! **


	7. Chapter 7: Jayden's Thoery

Chapter 7

Over the months, I never stopped believing my mom would come back. When I would be in the library, hauled up in some book about psychology, or biology, or really anything and I would hear a noise, I would look up, expecting to see my mother striding in. I would imagine that she did, every time that she didn't and I would imagine her saying something loving like "Eve, your hair is so damn messy, you look like an ugly hobo" or "Why do you have to be such a useless nerd?" Calev, as well as some of the books I had read, had expanded my vocabulary.

Most of the time, the creaking of the wood was Sebastian, checking up on me. David preferred to stay away from me, in the state that I was in. I was glad when it was Calev, although strangely the first emotion I would feel every time I saw him was annoyance.

"Eve" He said sometime in the middle of the sixth month that we had been there, interrupting my reading of a horrid novel called _Pride and Prejudice. _"When's your birthday?"

I snapped the book shut and slammed it onto the shelf with the other Jane Austen novels, making a mental note to avoid that shelf, or perhaps burn it. "I don't know" The familiar feeling of annoyance came over me, as I realized how dumb I sounded.

"Come on" He said. "It's got to have been around this time right?"

I started searching an unexplored bookshelf for something better to read.

"My point is Eve, you've got to see your mom on your birthday"

I smashed my finger between two books as I let go of a heavier one at his words. "Ow" I said holding my finger and cussing softly.

"Are you okay?" Somehow the stupefied worry in his voice only increased my irritation. He grabbed my finger and examined it.

I shook him off. "It's just a break" I said looking with disinterest at its crooked angle, and the purple swelled around it. "It will be healed by dinner"

"You should drink now" Calev always seemed to have blood-snacks in his pockets.

I drank the one he handed me while giving him a weird look. My bone snapped back into place and the swelling receded into my skin.

I sighed when I was done. I didn't want to admit this to Calev, but I hated how everyone in the house followed the unspoken rule of never talking about my mom again. I knew he wouldn't bring it up again though, if I didn't say what would make me vulnerable now.

"Will you go with me?" It didn't matter how confident I could make the words sound in my head, they still came out timid.

He jerked his head in a funny twist when he finally realized what I meant. "Yeah Eve!" he said nodding dutifully. "I want to go with you to find your mom."

David introduced me and Calev to a vampire and her son, at dinner. They had been turned by a rogue, which we assumed wordlessly was either my mom or Michael. With the new arrival, David and Sebastian had decided it was time to join the war. They would search for floating vampires, and make new ones if they couldn't find any. David was going to instruct the children in fighting, which we wouldn't use until we were eighteen to fight, and this new woman Sarroria, would train the adults. I grinned at the thought of training. I would be far ahead of the other students. The boy's name was Jayden. I and Calev would glance at him when we thought he wasn't looking. The boy had the same straight black hair as his mother's, but his muscles were thick, (considerably thicker than Calev's thin arms) while Sarroria's figure was tall and thin.

I found myself more interested in the relationship the boy had with his mother, than his appearance. The quiet way that they just seemed together, the easy flow of their brief comments. Weather me and my mom were in cold silence or in conflicted conversation, we were never together the way that Jayden and Sarroria were.

Jayden had a quiet that only broke for few questions. So I told him things, just to fill the silence, things that might have been too personal.

"A quote that really stuck with me Eve, from my readings," Jayden said, strolling through the library with me. "Was that people spend too much time asking _how_, instead of _why…._Why do you want to find your mom? Eve, I'm not saying that you should find your mom or that you shouldn't, I'm only saying that you need to know your purpose, whatever choice you make"

I thought about how for so long, I had just wanted to show her, to waltz in and spit in her face because I had survived the hell of a life that Selene had left me in. I had wanted to be Selene, but the better one, the one who hadn't made all her mistakes, the one who didn't have all of her weaknesses. Then I remembered my days in Antigen, how daydreams had served as a surrogate for something that had never been given by Caretaker #7, something I had only read about in stupid books in this Manson, something that had had no importance in my life before, but maybe now this could fill the hole.

"Love…" I said, whatever that distant theory meant. The word sounded weak and vulnerable to my ears.

Jayden looked at me solemnly for a long time. He nodded. "There you go Eve, wherever you go, you must find love…"

Calev packed five extra blood bags in the trunk of the car, along with a vast assortment of weapons. He wanted to take ten bags, but I refused, we weren't going to be out that long. We snuck out at night, taking the black Tesla, instead of the white or red one. We decided to leave tonight because, at long last, I had seen through my mother's eyes.

"I finally remembered my birthday" My voice was sarcastic, but I spoke the truth. Somehow trauma had jarred the burned in date out of my brain. "It's not for like another three months"

"It doesn't matter Eve" For ounce Jayden's voice was calm and serious. "There really is no perfect time to do anything…only a time"

"I see you've been talking to Jayden too" I said.

He blushed a little, "Only as much as _you _have"

Was that jealousy in his voice? I wondered.

I felt restless as I whatched the Tesla charge in a deserted parking lot. I didn't know how long my mom would stay in the forest where Michael had died. It was about an hour away from where we were now.

"What are you going to say to her?" Calev asked back on the road.

I squirmed in my seat a little. "I'm going to be like F-you mom!"

I and Calev burst into long, tension relieving laughter. Finally I composed myself. "No seriously…I really don't know Calev, I was hoping it would sort of come naturally, in the moment you know"

"Well, considering what you come up with _in the moment Eve_" He said, obviously referring to my pervious words. "You might want to think of something"

I collapsed into laughter again, I think it was the first funny joke I had heard Calev say. Laughing was something I had never done in Antigen. David and Calev had slowly taught me how too.

"I guess I'll just say I'm sorry…."

"Sorry for what?!" Calev's voice was incredulous.

"For not freeing Michael, when I freed her, for being born…if I hadn't been, my mom could have found Michael, instead of wasting time finding people to take care of me…she knows this, that's why she left. She won't admit it, but she blames me for Michael's death"

"Eve, it's not your fault! You saved the bi-"He caught himself at my glare. "I mean your mom…"

"Yeah, I don't know…" I just hoped apologizing would make her stay. I didn't know if Selene had felt guilty for anything in her life, but I may as well try to make her feel it now.

I liked sharing myself with Calev, who listened but couldn't seem to judge. I liked the silence too though. But then I broke it, I couldn't stand all of the emotions staying inside of me. Calev, an already silly person, was happy to laugh with me at the dumbest, most random things in my mind. I was reminded of how people in the novels I read acted when they were high. Calev laughed even more (if that was even possible) after I said this. The anxiety built inside of me, as he pulled the car into the lot. We were here.

"Actually Calev, we should just go back…"

"Come on" I was relieved that he could be strong for me. He opened my door and gently grabbed my arm. "Three more months in that library all day will be a lot more worse than this"

I still resisted. "What if it goes wrong?" I got out of the car on shaky legs. "What if I say something stupid?"

"You know what Eve," His voice was determined. "It doesn't matter if your mom loves you….because...because...I love you"

We kissed, my nervous lips meeting his clumsy ones. I didn't know if it was just because I was high on terror, but I didn't really care, I loved the way it felt, and if it was possible for me to feel love, then I loved him.

He stuck to my shoulder as I entered the forest. I found myself running, which felt good, because it almost released some of the fear, although there was too much fear for it to all be spent. I had another vision, which twisted my foot on a root and sent me into the ground.

"Stay here" I told Calev as he knelt beside me. "I know where she is"

When I stepped around the tree, I was jolted by my mom's eyes. She was kneeling on the ground, and had happened to be facing the direction I came from.

"Eve…" Her soft voice froze me in place.

She stood gracefully, and walked a circle around my body, before standing in front of me again. She touched my shoulder. "You shouldn't have come here" She said when her eyes were meeting mine.

"I left you for a reason!" Her voice held rising anger. "I left you with people who could care for you, where you were safe Eve! That was _my _choice! Not yours! You can't keep following me. You can't just show up!"

"Mom…I love you" The words fell helplessly out of my mouth. I knew if I didn't say them, I would never be able to, but that didn't make me regret them any less.

She softened, in sympathy, in fear. "Look, I'm sorry that all of this happened to you…I really wish it didn't, but I can't be a mom. I have to leave now, don't follow me, and don't try to find me"

The words rang through my body.

"I love you Eve" Selene's hand slid off of my shoulder.

As I watched my mom leaving for the last time, the glint of her leather, her short black hair, I knew I never wanted to be loved again.

Calev appeared from around the tree. He put his arm around me, I didn't melt in his arms, I didn't move, I remained stiff.

**Author's Note: Okay, I feel like this chapter could use some editing, basically Selene doesn't want to see Eve because she doesn't feel like she would be good at raising her. ****Review! :)**


	8. Chapter 8: The Thing

Chapter 8

What I loved to do most, was practice jousting with Sebastian. It wasn't the most useful tool in real fights, but it was calming to me. I liked having someone to teach. He always paid careful attention to my instructions, and was a kind listener whilst I talked of my Caretaker's training. Sebastian seemed to be the only one really emphatic to my attachment to my Caretakers. He talked about his dad teaching him baseball, after I told him about Caretaker #1 teaching me to stab the head off of dummies, and it was comforting to feel my past connected to the world outside of Antigen.

The Manson had been turned into something that resembled the "schools" I read about in my books. Adults and children filled twelve rooms out of the fourteen. We had classes three hours a day, and a lunch break after the first two hours. As I slowly sipped blood, Calev would try to impress me with whatever story he had from the day's training.

Jayden ounce said "Hello Eve" to me between classes. I did a double take, I said "Hi" just because I felt like I had to, then I made a point of avoiding the hallways he walked through, or ducking behind people when I couldn't. I did not need another Jayden theory. Seeing him was a reminder of what I had chosen to ignore.

I no longer slept. My body would collapse on its own accord at night, for more or less than an hour. Not nearly enough time to dream.

Calev would occasionally remark I looked tired. He noticed every detail about me, and asked me about it. The scratch on my arm from sword-play with Sebastian, the braid in my hair Sarroria had made, even the glint in my eyes from David's praise.

Sarroria had insisted on showing me how to do my hair properly, and I knew Sebastian or David put her up to this. As much as I liked Sarroria, her presence made me nervous, and I wished that my skin wasn't so pale because I expected I was blushing. Her affections felt invasive. As she was combing my hair she murmured "Antigen must have been tough, your mother should have been there to teach you how to comb your hair"

My angry thoughts were quiet, yet persistent: _stop feeling sorry for me, I don't need or want your pity! It's not my fault she's gone…it's not…_The last two words trailed away as my thoughts were handed over to doubt.

I now shared a room with David, where previously I had slept alone. David had gone back to being my gruff, humorous father. I tried not to think about the thing.

The problem was, I wasn't thinking about it. It was its own being, coming into my mind, asking me how I felt about it. Sebastian would be taking me on a sight-seeing ride in the red Tesla, and suddenly it would jump into my mind: What would your mom say about this car? Or that weirdly shaped building? Calev would bump me playfully while telling a story and it would ask me: was your mom like this with Michael? It hit me hardest when David came back from a raid on a lycan camp, covered in his own blood as much as others' and it would ask: could my mom have protected him better?

I was restless to become the weapon I was born to be. I wasn't like the other vampires, clumsy, weak, naive. I was sharp-willed, cold. I was ready to fight in this war, to rip apart the lycans who had ripped apart Michael, who had ripped apart me and…that thing I don't think about.

David would not let me asses my pain tolerance. I took my knife and cut deep into my muscles anyway, in front of the class. I wanted to convince him of my strength, and ability to fight in the war. He wouldn't let me go to classes for a week after that, for disobeying him. During free hours, I couldn't resist sneaking a knife or hammer with me into the bathrooms, or sometimes the library because it was mostly deserted, and assessing my pain tolerance. I would bring blood with me to heal the broken bones, and tears in flesh and organs. I knew rationally that this was abnormal, but it was calming to me because it had been part of my routine at Antigen.

Jayden caught me in the library one time. Of course it had to be him, basically the only other vampire who would enter the place. I stopped dead, holding the hammer above my big toe, about to crush it.

"Dissociation, may allow you to push yourself farther, but it blocks your ability to do it correctly, For example, while swimming, you should be thinking about your form, even if it's more painful that way, because if you don't you might sink"

I had read about swimming before, so I had an idea of what he was talking about. I watched him walk away, my mouth slightly open, and then I brought the hammer down as hard as I could. I found myself gasping on the floor and holding my foot, in too much pain to drink the blood. I didn't cry, I no longer had the ability to cry. Eventually, with a shaking hand, I reached down and grabbed the blood bag. My injury healed slowly, and before it had finished, I crushed one of my fingers. Luckily it was Calev, who found me on the library floor, a bloodied mess, and not David. Calev spoke frantic soft words, as he tried to get me to drink the blood. I was in so much pain that my mind rejected the idea. Like when you're dehydrated and have a stomach ache and water hurts the first time you have it. I finally mastered the self-control to drink. The blood hit my stomach sourly, and then filled me up with energy.

"Do that again and I _will _tell David" Calev said, so I had to be a bit more careful.

When David met a woman-vampire from his old coven, and she moved into his room, and I moved into Abby's, I didn't realize that my emotions would escalate to far more than annoyance and rejection.

I didn't particularly like sharing a room with Abby. It wasn't that she didn't like me, we got along okay. It was just her bright attitude, superficial chatter. As if she were a human teenager instead of a vampire one. She seemed to have this obsession with shoes. I didn't care what my shoes looked like when they were splattered with lycan blood. I didn't particularly care that I even had shoes at all, considering I had enough practice with walking on nails, and the like. I half-expected her to talk wistfully about prom, something I had read about in a book, which had been laughed at by the main character. I still read books, but the vampires with the exception of Jayden all thought it was weird. Even the human-like Abby thought it was weird, but mostly just because she thought it was "nerdy".

Genelia, always smiled at me as she passed, close by David's side. She reminded me a bit of Caretaker #7, at least her expression did. I found myself idly waiting for the time she would betray us. I fantasized that she was really a lycan, so that I could rip my claws through her neck.

David left without speaking to me.

"I'm sorry Eve" Sebastian said. "He fell in love, moved back to his own coven…he was too much of a pussy to tell you, but it's because he cares about you, can't stand to see you in pain"

I scoffed. David was now my enemy. Sebastian would sometimes talk of the covens uniting, but I was not interested, I was never interested. There was only one vampire coven that would accept a lycan-vampire hybrid, and I lived in it. So much so I could forget the lycan part of me when I was here.

Sarroria agreed that I could teach the other children, that I was experienced enough to fully take David's place. I took pleasure in humiliating Abby, any chance I could get. I did it subtly to, spreading rumors when she was "sick" in her room, probably fantasizing about clothes. I would disguise insults in the form of compliments. I was able to detach myself from my guilt, pain tolerance exercises did this. The other children moved away from Abby, ignored her.

I would have slept in David's old room. Since I was in a position of authority though, I was allowed to sleep in Calev's. I moved a cot into his room, so he wouldn't feel awkward. But most of the time, he was glad to hold my cold body in his arms, to attempt to comfort me, when really there was nothing to comfort. I felt nothing but purpose.

Eventually, the rage faded away. I stopped teaching classes, or even going to them. Ironically, Abby took my place. After all my battering, although her self-esteem was severely wounded, she learned the most out of the kids in the three classes I had taught. I spent all my time in the library. I put a lock on its door at night, dragged my cot out of Calev's room, and stared at the tall ceiling, stretching towards the sky. I stopped doing my pain-tolerance exercises, and I stopped thinking about the war. I would look up into the darkness, stretching on and on, and think how that was my life. Not there, but not gone, not bad, but without a purpose.

I skipped lunch. I rarely drank. I liked the weak feeling in my bones when I went days, or weeks without it. Calev hated how I was acting. He tried to force feed me. Mostly I just ignored him. I wasn't interested in his conditions, in his care that would leave me.

Sarroria took us out on a practice patrol, when I was nearing my thirteenth birthday. We swung by David's coven, we didn't enter obviously, but he was outside when we filled by, just about to go inside. He looked at us blankly, perhaps there was fear in his eyes when he met mine, maybe it was just worry, or guilt. I'm not sure.

I couldn't stand this world. Where whatever companions you made seemed to be dead within years, and the people that you had were only the ones that you desperately clung to, the ones who wanted nothing more than to throw you down and never have to be weighed down by you again. When I saw David, so far away, in the other coven, I realized with a pang how much I had loved him. How I had been so focused on my mom, that I hadn't even given myself room to really think about David. Right now, if both my mom and David had come to me, and told me I could only stay with one of them, I would have almost chose David…almost. It didn't matter though, David and Selene were never coming back, never really coming back. All I could do was try to focus on the father I had, Sebastian. Frustration took over again as I tried to break down the wall inside of me so that I could reach my feelings for Sebastian. I felt hopeless as I realized in defeat that I would probably only know how much I loved him, when he was dead or gone.

I thought my first birthday outside of Antigen would feel different somehow. I didn't tell anyone that it was my birthday. I had to go through the dining hall to get blood bags. "You're really selfish Eve" Calev said, when I once again refused to drink blood with him. It hit me like a blow…but I realized it was true. I didn't care anymore.

"Maybe I have a right to be"

"Eve!" He called after me, there was longing in his eyes as I turned back to look at him. "Stop pushing me away! How is this helping anyone?"

I started to walk away, no longer interested. "Eve!"

I found that it was easier to spend my time when I wasn't training, in David's room which I had finally claimed as mine just so I could be alone, reading. I didn't want to make any more feeble connections, that would pull away like pieces of thread on a frayed shirt at Antigen, and then Caretaker #3 would just give me a new one.

"Eve" Sebastian would always say. "Talk to me when it gets to crowded in there, too painful"

Sebastian would always get new books for me. He encouraged me in reading, even though the other vampires would give me looks. They could not understand why I would waste my time on human things, when there was so much more power from vampire abilities. Sebastian knew that happy stores would be useless, like Caretaker #2 removing a pimple before Caretaker #4 had healed my broken nose -so he got me the emotional ones that I needed. Reading them, I almost thought that being a human would be just as painful as being a vampire-lycan. I was most intrigued with stories about outcasts at what human's called "school". The cut off feeling they had, was the only thing comparable to the way I felt. Most of them also had unreachable parents, whether physically or emotionally. I was still unsure of what my personality was, so I tried to copy the characters in the novels, the way they would draw images, write dramatic poetry…cutting. Cutting was easier for me because I had almost no danger of dying, but for that same reason it was harder, there was less risk to it, so it felt like less of a sacrifice.

Being in my room for so long made me feel restless. I forced myself to be alone, but I still hated it, unlike a small population of lucky people who could cherish their independence. I felt confident in mine, but I resented my independence. I asked Sebastian if I could join the next raid on a lycan camp. "No Eve." He said firmly. "What would your mother say?"

"She wouldn't say a thing"

"You know what, it doesn't even matter what your mother would say, you're a daughter to me Eve, and it's my job to protect you"

I scoffed, but decided I had a better way to join the raid than argue with him.

I knew when the raiders were leaving. I left preciously five minutes after them. I stalked the group for a half an hour, before finally sliding in behind some of the newer members of the coven, in a back patrol.

"We're going to enter the left side of the coven up hear" I heard the group leader saying. I was short enough to not be noticed behind the taller bodies. We entered through the dark tunnel, and the pounding of my heart built in strength, until I heard the snarl of a lycan as it attacked the group leader. I smiled as I changed form. No one would have time to worry about going back now, even if I was seen.

I grabbed his back, and pulled myself on top of him. I was ready to bury my sharp, vampire teeth into his neck, but before I could he threw me off, and pinned me underneath him. I was surprised, but also interested by the challenge. I kicked at his stomach and rolled on top of him. I took a second too much thinking about whether or not I should kill him, a question I had never asked myself before. He was the first worthy opponent I had met in so long. But then he was on top of me, caressing his claws into my neck. I stared into his brown eyes, and watched as the hair receded into his head. It turned ginger as it did, and his eyes turned green.

He smiled at me. "I won't kill you this time coldheart, you're a little young to be fighting"

I flipped him underneath me and snarled. "And what makes you think _I _won't kill you?"

He chuckled. "Oh wow" He said sarcastically. "I never saw that one coming" He slipped into his form again, and then slipped out of it, back to a human. "Kill me if you want, I couldn't care less"

His words echoed my thoughts over the last year so precisely. "You're no older than I am" I felt my claws start to recede and quickly made an effort to consciously force them out, I wasn't going to be fooled so easily.

"Smart one"

"Why are you fighting?"

"Could ask you the same thing"

"But I'm on top of you, and I asked first"

"Good point" He laughed. "It's a suicide mission, which I think is quite obvious, or else you would be dead…but it's different for you? Isn't it _Eve"_

He said my name like it was such a divine insult. _Good one _I thought. _I would so totally be offended…except I DIDN"T CHOOSE MY NAME!_

"You were pretty dumb for coming out here" He said. "Everyone knows who you are…don't you get that we both want to own you Eve? And the lycans might not be so happy with you for being the vampire's property for so long"

I stood, letting him up. "Let yourself die if you want" I said. "I don't care, but I'm leaving, and if you want to come…come with me…"

The idea just came to me, but once I had it I knew it was what I was going to do. I strode past him, hitting him on the shoulder as I passed, not looking back. I started at the tunnel I had entered in, knowing it would be faster than searching for a new one.

"Wait" He was at my side. "That's the wrong tunnel coldheart, I don't give a lycan's shit about you, but since I'm so bored, I'll come with you…you'll die without me anyway"

I scoffed, but I allowed him to lead me out of the lycan's cave, me and him both fighting lycans and vampires alike along the way. I noticed he couldn't bring himself to kill the lycans, and I couldn't bring myself to kill either one. I felt lame knowing that my mom could kill all of the people in this cave right now without even giving it a second thought. I was just grateful that Sebastian didn't see me leaving.

**Author's Note: Review!**


	9. Chapter 9: Michael's Poison

**Chapter 9 Michael's Poison**

**Chapter 9**

I expected him to keep up his tough banter, and by the way he studied the rocks moving beneath his feet, and almost succeeded in keeping his lips in that straight line as they wavered –I knew he was trying hard to.

"Why were you on a suicide mission?" I was right in assuming this straightforward question would topple him like Caretaker #1, when he decided it was time for you to hit the ground –hard, during training.

He gasped and glanced at me with his face weak in a pained look. He immediately looked up in the opposite direction, out into the forest instead of the ocean that was beside me. Coming to the beach had been a secret yearning of mine.

"I ah…." He sighed. "Well obviously I wasn't always a lycan" His voice had a quality to it, like when tears sting the back of your eyes, and jump up from your throat. Or lap up, like the waves of the ocean I was finally seeing. I took a step out, off of the rocks. The sand filled my shoes as I crossed through it. He stayed at my side, subconsciously I assumed. I took off my shoes. The sand buried my toes in it like nothing else, I leaned up and looked at the grey sky.

"What are you doing?" He seemed pulled to me by the way I ignored his presence.

I rolled my shoulders; they had been getting quite stiff.

"Thinking…" I said, long after he had accepted my silence.

We both stood still together, the tops of our legs sinking into the sand.

"Have you ever had a mother?" Now my voice had the quality that his had before.

He seemed taken aback by the question. Calev would have answered right away, in disbelief and confusion. By his expression, this boy had just stopped himself from doing that.

"It depends on what you call a mother…" He said finally, recognizing the mystery in our conversation, the secret held in the words, but never spoken. "But I definitely had a father" A chuckle rose in this throat without coming out. "Hell did I have a father…" He said softly, more to himself than me.

This rolled across my brain uncomfortably. Weather his words spoke of his father positively or negatively, they gave the word father a meaning that my thoughts hadn't until now. "My mother's name was Selene" I wanted to change the subject. "She left me when I was only twelve…."

"How did it feel?"

"What do you mean?"

"Meeting her, if you never knew her when you were a baby"

"Why do you ask?" My voice was sharpening. "Who says I never knew her as a baby?"

"I –uh I just assumed" He swallowed. "Umm…my mom….she left me when I was a baby"

"Your lycan-shitting me"

"No" His said. "She –uh" He sighed. "She left for good reason…my dad was…_abusive_"

"Yeah? Well my mom was incased in ice for twelve years" The words brought my lips into a smile, and he returned the grin as I looked into his eyes. "Never even knew she had a baby…how did you get to be a lycan?"

"Who says I wasn't born one"

"I just assumed…" I said with a playful edge.

He looked out into the sun sliding into the waves. Our bodies had slowly turned to face the water as we talked. "His name was Micheal"

I lost all of my playful demeanor, shocked by those words. "You knew him?!"

"What do you mean?"

"How did you _know _him?"

"He said he dranked us by accident –me and my foster brother, he didn't want us to die…so"

"You stayed with him?"

"We traveled with him…but then Jackson found the pack, thought it would be safer, I was his buddy, of course I joined him…I was sad to see Michael go but…then of course Jackson had to die on me! Frickin pissed off the pack leader, that insufferable _DUMB-_ASS…How did you know Michael?"

"He was my father" The breeze felt cool. "He's dead"

"Ah…." He looked like he was trying to move his foot in the dirt out of habit, as he looked down, but then he realized his feet were wedged and looked back at me. "He was a good guy…"

"So you tried to kill yourself because your friend died?" I said, taking my opportunity.

"Yeah…uh….it _was _a bit more complicated than that" He pulled one of his feet out of the sand, and then eventually got the other. I followed suit, but slowly. I held my shoes as we walked through the forest, I wanted to walk along the beach, but we didn't have to talk to know what was safest, as the night turned to an inky blue pen, like the ones Caretaker #6 would use to right down my emotions.

"After you…" He held out his arm when we reached a thick tree.

"Climb lycan-shit" I said it teasingly.

He chuckled. He changed form so he could dig his claws into the bark. I followed him up the tree. He opened his arms for me, when he was settled in a branch, I was tempted to find my own, but I ended up curling into them, as if he were my brother, and I had known him my whole life. I guess we did share DNA, I mean Michael's poison ran through his veins.

"You know you're really stupid" He said, when his chin rested on my head. "The lycans would have you at my call"

"Yeah? I'm a lycan smart-shit, I don't care!"

"Good point…but still, their your enemies"

I shrugged.

"In all honesty…their not exactly my friends." He said. "I didn't want to die though for anything that had to do with lycans…it's a lot more complicated than that….it was just, this feeling of emptiness"

I knew what he meant. "Well" I said, getting slightly uncomfortable at all the emotional talk. "I'll remember your emptiness when you try to tear me to shreds in the morning"

"Oh Eve" He caressed my hair. "I would never do that"

"Of course not, because you would be dead before your first claw sprouted"

Our laughter became one.

"I never got your name"

"Faris"

"Tell me about Michael" I found my hand rubbing his right arm, naturally, as his left arm stroked my spine, going father down my back with each movement.

"He was a good man" I felt his cold hand slip under my pants, onto my bare skin.

Me and Faris would have to talk later. I felt Antigen washing away from me in the wetness. I felt renewed and free. We both changed in and out of our forms when it got intense. We shared everything, but at the same time had the safety of sharing nothing. I remembered, amidst it all, a time when this had happened to me before. I was only eight. My mind must have blocked out that visit from Caretaker #6, I had read about that happening, in books about boys and girls who had been raped.

When we were done, the night was ending and Faris was still holding me and caressing my back. I spoke. "I used to see images through her eyes, my mother, but I haven't seen any since that day in the woods when…she left me….What if she's dead Faris? I wouldn't even know!"

"What would you say to her, if you knew she could hear you?"

"I don't know…"

"Come on, there has to be something"

I sighed. "What would you say, to your mom?"

"I would tell her I wished I had mattered to her," Faris spoke immediately. "That she should have taken me with her…because I was her son, and that if she has any other son's, she treats them a whole hell of a lot better, never lays a hand on them, never screams, or throws bear bottles, or lets pit bulls attack them –none of that shit, so that they could live in innocence, live without all the violence, live without being torn up every damned day of their lives"

"I doubt my mom is ever going to have any more kids" I said. "But I guess if she did I would want the same thing –a good life for them." I fell silent. I knew what I needed to say, but I wanted my mom to hear it, but at the same time I didn't. "I don't know if I would want to tell her anything…but I guess if I did…well I would just wish she could find some way to show me she cared, that even though I was an accident she still well…you know…I mean its selfish right?"

"Eve, we have a right to be selfish"

I smiled. "I agree"

"Everyone deserves to be loved Eve…"

"You know what my mom said, right before she left?" My voice was full of energy, nervous excited energy. "I love you. What kind of messed up thing to say is that? I love you so I'm leaving?"

"At least she said it…" Faris mumbled.

I decided to change the subject, really feeling the guilt of my selfishness now. "We should go" I started to climb down.

"Thinking we could move out of country" Faris said, dropping out of the tree behind me.

"No" I said simply, and he didn't argue. I had to be in a place where my mom could find me.

**Author's Note: Review!**


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